happy holidays

I have a Christmas present for all of you:

http://transmogriflaw.typepad.com/transmogriflaw/

Please update your links when you get a chance. All further posting will be done from the new site.

maybe they should filter out a few phrases

Tonight I googled the phrase 'breast milk' for undisclosed reasons.

Normal links appeared, but in the sponsored links to the right, I saw the following:

Breast milk on eBay
Large selection of new & used. aff
Buy Breast Milk and Save!

Wow. eBay is really expanding these days.

We've got plenty of used breast milk here, packaged very nicely in landfill-expanding plastic. Foolish us for paying the garbage company to take it away when we could sell it on eBay!

clarification on dog bundles

Reader chickenmagazine's initial concern that the Red Wiggly Bundle of Love was, uh, one of two bundles belonging our dog made me laugh out loud, but I see her point. I mean, I suppose that could be an accurate description of male dog genitalia, although, as she said, ewwww.

So, for the record, my dog is female and now spayed. And I call her the RWBL because that's what she is. ALL of her, I mean.

I may be able to unearth some pictures of the snockered RWBL. Not taken by me, of course. I'm a Good Dog Owner (but I may have an evil twin).

the big operation

Our dog's reproductive future, or rather the lack thereof, has been secured. The Red Wiggly Bundle of Love went under the knife this week and returned home stoned to the gills.

I mean really, really stoned. Snockered. Talking with Jerry. She was swaying on her feet from the tranquilizers they'd given her.

Luckily I am a Good Dog Owner and so I would never, ever stick a pipe-shaped piece of rawhide in her mouth and tie a tie-died bandanna around her neck and take a picture. Oh no. No stoned dog humor around here, no siree!

I mean, really. What sort of dog owner would do that?

holiday parties

On Friday evening, my friends R. and M. threw their annual Screw You, Kringle Bastard! party, which is a Machiavellian, martini-enhanced version of a white elephant party.

The gift scheming generally goes on for hours, but by 10:45 Nathaniel was sound asleep on my husband's lap and we were not far from joining him. 10:45 represents the latest we have stayed out since he was born. Hoo-boy, do we live it up these days or what?

When we left, we had secured the following gift:

- Two (2) moderately bruised bananas.
- One (1) container of Fleishmann's margarine, slightly used.
- One (1) opened six-pack of Thomas's English muffins containing three (3) English muffins.
- One (1) bag of bagel chips, unopened.

I think the three missing English muffins were eaten by the Kringle Bastard.

mining my memory and coming up empty

I often scribble notes to myself. Generally these notes make sense both at the time I scribble them and then years later when I find them crumpled in the corner of forgotten bureau drawers and boxes.

Sometimes, however, the notes defy logical explanation. For example, the following, found scribbled on notepaper I'm fairly certain dates from the time I was living in Italy:

- bug-city girls
- Marilyn Monroe
- computer - Sai come ti voglio bene
- Tosca in morning

Heck if I know what I was on about. I'm not sure I knew when I wrote it, let alone now.

it's that time of year

I gained a bit on Monday, which means those of you of a more geeky persuasion now know how old I am. La la la, time marches on and all that.

But really, the time of year that it really is, and that's the most important, not any of this bit twiddling nonsense, is EXAM time. I say it in caps because boy does it feel like a caps-worthy occasion when you are a 1L.

Best of luck to all of you exam-takers. I would say I'm nostalgic for law school exams, but I'd be lying. Law school, yes. Exams, no. The best thing about exams is that they end and then you have that glorious period of time you'll miss tremendously when you're working: winter break.

You're almost there. Really.