performance art in the classroom

A few days ago we were discussing a torts case in which a woman was given a negligent tubal ligation. Oops. Two years later she discovered she was pregnant.

Prof. Torts called E. up to the front of the room.

"What's a tubal ligation?"

E., edgy at being called to the front of the classroom, stammered through the beginning of an explanation of tubal ligations, but it wasn't going anywhere. He paused.

"I'll just give you the explanation my junior high sex ed teacher gave us. He was the basketball coach, a big guy."

The class was immediately riveted. The phrase "junior high sex ed teacher" is not one normally used in law school classrooms. Prof. Torts raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"So my teacher, he palmed two basketballs and held them out to his side." E. demonstrated, stretching his arms out to their full lengths and curving his hands as though he were holding basketballs. "Pretend I'm holding basketballs."

"So these, these are the ovaries," he said while fluttering his wrists. "And these, these are the Fallopian tubes." E. enthusiastically waved his arm up and down, which, combined with the wrist fluttering, meant he resembled a rather large flapping bird.

E. stopped flapping and started rubbing his stomach and chest. "This part, this is the uterus." He looked up at the class. "You know, like where the babies are carried?" Several students, familiar with the function of the uterus, nodded though their giggles.

E. continued. He squatted down a little, and started knocking his knees together while crossing his arms and hands over his kneecaps like an overenthusiastic Bob Fosse dancer.

"And this," he triumphantly concluded, hands waving frantically over his knees, "this is the vagina!"

The class lost it. Even Prof. Torts was laughing. There was a long pause while we all recovered. E. grinned.

"So to answer your original question, a tubal ligation would be if I had broken my elbows." E. straightened up and held his arms back out with his elbows askew at odd angles. "Or really, as if I had knotted my elbows. But I can't demonstrate that."

Prof. Torts nodded gravely. "Mr. E., your knowledge of the female reproductive system leaves something to be desired." Prof. Torts grinned broadly. "But I wouldn't have missed that for the world."