anatomy of the day after an exam

Yesterday, the day after my civil procedure exam, I sat down to study. Or something. I'm not exactly productive the day after a hard exam.

The Day-After-Exam Schedule

6:45 am: Am up and ready for day. Eat healthy breakfast of spinach and cheesy eggs. Make husband coffee. Am veritable morning activity machine.

7:32 am: Important to read both local paper and Wall Street Journal before starting to study. Very important for law students to keep up on current events.

8:32 am: Husband leaves for work.

8:36 am: Decide to clean kitchen before starting studying. Cleanliness next to godliness. Want to be Godly Law Student or at least Healthy Law Student.

8:58 am: Go upstairs. Sit down at desk. Am ready to study.

9:00 am: Must check email and blogs first. Critical information may be revealed that is more important than torts. Perhaps blogs will reveal new secret to torts heretofore unrevealed. Essential to day.

10:00 am: Ready to start. Open outline on computer.

10:06 am: Decide that subheadings in section on 'Owners and Occupiers of Land' would be more interesting if they were in Comic Sans MS font.

10:07 am: Change all subheadings to new font.

10:08 am: Get wild and crazy and change that entire section to 'Zapf Wingdings'. Realize that section makes only marginally less sense in Zapf Wingdings, otherwise known as Zapf Wingdings.

10:09 am: Panic, change fonts back.

10:10 am: Work on short issue outline.

10:22 am: Realize laundry must be done now or will never be done and poor husband won't have clean jeans and will be laughingstock of engineering team.

10:23 am: Do laundry. Ignore realization that a) husband is perfectly capable and willing to do laundry and has pile of clean jeans to prove it and b) engineering team is incapable of recognizing difference between clean and slightly dirty jeans anyhow.

10:47 am: Laundry complete. Back upstairs and in front of computer working on short issue outline for torts.

11:11 am: Realize that classmates may need sympathy and support. Is critical to support friends at this point. Log into Instant Messenger.

11:12 am: Chat with law school friends. Discuss whether to watch Friends finale though have never watched show with any regularity. Decide that is important to participate in important cultural milestone.

11:14 am: Post to blog. Is important to keep loyal readers updated.

11:42 am: Log out of AIM after mutual realization that day is wasting away. Panic.

11:43 am: Back to work.

12:32 pm: Hungry. Go downstairs to kitchen.

12:33 pm: Decide that nutrition is important now. Short lunch that doesn't pay attention to important food groups will not do. Sauté spinach with garlic and olive oil and grill wild salmon for lunch.

12:43 pm: Take healthy lunch outside to courtyard and eat. Attain Healthy Law Student status.

12:58 pm: Pets need attention. Have been cruelly neglecting attention to needy animals as evinced by said animals' interest in wild salmon. Poor pets. Play with pets now necessary or will be Bad Pet Mother.

1:32 pm: Back at desk. Pet duty done.

2:14 pm: Am sleepy. Go for walk in sun to wake up brain.

2:34 pm: Walk in sun has opposite effect. Nap is necessary.

3:35 pm: Nap over. Head not awake but back to work.

4:08 pm: Something that had been confusing makes sense. Am shocked by realization that something seeped into head today. Must take break to celebrate attainment of Serious Law Student status.

4:10 pm: Celebratory consumption of Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream. Lose Healthy Law Student status but am now Serious Law Student which is much better.

4:20 pm: Back to work. Celebratory consumption is over. Must continue to solidify status as Serious Law Student.

5:07 pm: Realize consumption of celebratory ice cream has immediately turned body into shapeless, formless mass. Exercise is urgent or will dissolve into wiggly puddle on floor.

5:16 pm: Drive to gym. Bring reading not in line with sort read by Serious Law Students and read while on stairmaster. Work out until shirt is unattractive and face is red from exertion.

6:08 pm: Go home. Realize that status as Serious Law Student may have slipped but is very important during stressful time to keep exercising and so have regained status as Healthy Law Student.

6:15 pm: Ant discovered on kitchen counter. Horrors. Indicates slovenly housekeeping not in keeping with status as Healthy Law Student. Must scrub kitchen and clean dishes from lunch.  Ignore fact that dirty dishes and a single ant do not normally excite interest in housecleaning.

6:56 pm: Back upstairs. Ready to work now and reattain Serious Law Student status.

7:02 pm: Husband is home. Go downtairs. Is important to talk to husband about day so that status of Good Married Law Student is not lost.

7:30 pm: Husband volunteers to make dinner so that I may study. Very thoughtful. Return upstairs.

7:31 pm: Panic. Way too much to learn before Monday.

7:56 pm: Dinner. Important to eat downstairs with husband rather than at desk. Discuss conclusion of debate with law school friends over the 'Friends' finale. TiVo is set to record as husband agrees that it is important not to miss important cultural milestone.

8:15 pm: Back upstairs.

9:30 pm: Status as Serious Law Student reattained. Finish studying chapter on personal injuries. Am so good am ready to take exam now. Yay me.

9:42 pm: Watch 'Friends' finale to celebrate. Agree with husband that important cultural milestone was lame but feel somehow patriotic and so am Good American Law Student now.

10:30 pm: Decide to go to bed. Is important to conserve energy during exam time.  Tomorrow will transform into Serious Law Student. [Ed.: sadly, this plan has not yet materialized today.]