I consoled a friend yesterday who was not happy with her grades. She called me in tears.
The funny thing is that I suspect she did better than me. I don't know; nobody other than my husband, my parents, and a good friend knows my actual grades and I didn't ask her what hers were. I was happy with my grades, but then again, I don't require much in the way of validation to make me happy.
For those of you who are in despair over your grades, I'll repeat what I told her:
In the much larger picture, they are irrelevant. Doing well on a law school exam means precisely one thing: you did well on one exam on one day. It doesn't make you smarter. Conversely, if you didn't do well, it doesn't make you dumber. Be happy if you did better than what you expected, and be aware that the bar for "did better" is different for different people. I know people who freak out over an A-, which is impossible for me to understand, but hey, that's fine.
I have interviewed many software engineers over the years. I never once asked about grades and I don't know any interviewer who did. I have worked for a long time, and I have never seen grades matter.
You know what does matter, what does follow you for the rest of your life? Your treatment of other people. Be honest. Do what you say you will do. Be ethical. Be fair. Be friendly. Don't be arrogant. Remember that we generally know much less than we think we do.
The grades, they fly away. The impression you make on others will never leave.
Update: I realized later that I should probably point out that just because I say this doesn't mean I always manage to do it. But I try.
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3 comments:
You don't know how true that is...there are people at the top of our class right now that when they get into the real legal community won't be trusted or spoken to by others in our class because of the impression they've left on people through their actions.
"The impression you make on others will never leave."
This is great advice! My husband & I nearly always agree on politics, for example, but we're always arguing about the way he expresses himself: arrogant and angry! He turns more people off than he would if he could just present his ideas in a way that didn't turn people off! He has great ideas, but few people will ever realize it. After 10 years, tho, I think he's finally learning :)
Yeah, I'm a firm believer in trying to avoid your baser instincts with regards to personal relationships. :)
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